Some years ago, after a major surgery I began to experience a puzzling nerve symptom. Every time I extended my right arm I felt a jolt of electric sensation in the tips of my fingers. Although the surgeon denied it I believed my neck was over-extended from insertion of the breathing tube during the operation. Whatever the cause, the symptom created no small worry in my mind. Physical therapy, acupuncture and massages were all found to be ineffectual. As weeks passed with no improvement, I began to feel depressed and self-pity flooded my thoughts: “Lots of folks have surgeries without issues. Why did this happen to me? Did I do something wrong? Should I not have done the surgery?”
Then one night as I was struggling with hopelessness, I decided to listen to a CD teaching tape that a friend gave me. In it, a Bible teacher named Neville Johnson was speaking about how self-pity can impede God’s work in our lives. At one point, he sounded sharp, almost harsh: “Ok. If you are sick, you are sick. You don’t have to deny it. But Can you walk? Can you still talk, taste or smell? Can you thank God for what is working?” Something in this statement jolted me. I thought to myself “that’s true. There are parts of my body that are still healthy. I am able to go to work. I am able to function.” That night I was able to change my focus and went to bed thanking God for the first time in a long time.
The next morning, as I was brushing my teeth I felt an overwhelming sense of joy bubbling up in me. I burst out laughing causing my mom to check in on me. “Who are you talking to?” she said. “Nobody Mom, I am just happy” I said as she left shaking her head. At work, I felt elated, glad to see everyone. The strangest thing of all this was that the pain and tingling in my arm were unchanged. I found that the symptoms just didn’t affect my emotions the same way. Over the ensuing few weeks, the symptoms gradually lessened until they disappeared completely.
The entire experience taught me an invaluable lesson, that self-pity can prolong suffering but thanksgiving can quicken healing. Ability to be thankful itself is such a gift from God. I still don’t do enough of it. But I will never forget its truth. Dear friend, whatever situation you are in and whatever you are feeling currently, would you thank God for what is good and working in your life? May that open the door to God’s grace and power flowing into you once again. He wants so much to do that for you. If you need the grace to feel thankful, ask him for that too. He is sure to answer you. Remember he is the source of everything good.